On November 22, 2011 I traveled to Naitauba for a two-week meditation retreat. The first stop in Fiji when traveling to Adi Da Samrajashram is Nadi on the main island of Fiji and then Taveuni. In Taveuni, I stayed at a house that has been made available for those making the pilgrimage to Naitauba. There I was welcomed by the company of friends also on their way to Adi Da Samrajashram; a really nice but simple meditation hall where I can sit to meditate; a space where I can simply drop out of all concern and worldly distractions and where I can study Adi Da's teaching or just walk along the beach and enjoy the nature, the sunny or rainy hot weather, and the friendly greetings from Fijians. 

To get to the Island of Naitauba,  I got on a boat called the Turaga Dau Loloma. There is where the journey began - a five and a half hour boat ride that got me closer and closer with each passing wave to a place my heart yearns to be. The trip was rough as the waves were high, but once I arrived all sense of self had vanished for a moment as I sat to contemplate an image of my Beloved Master and heard His Words recited about coming on retreat to His Island of Naitauba.  

Each day all my heart wanted to do was spend as much time as possible in His Company, feelingly turning to Him in His sacred temples and numerous spiritually empowered sites. The first few days I was invited to participate at one of these empowered sites to celebrate the Third Anniversary of Avatar Adi Da’s Divine Mahasamadhi. Being there was a most sublime and sweet experience. There was no sense of time or space but only the stillness and heart movement towards my Beloved.  

For hours I would listen to recitations of Adi Da’s teaching and to devotional chants, and at times I would participate in small projects such as flower mala making or help serve meals for those of us present at these occasions. To me doing “service” has taught me a lot about turning attention away from my self and therefore being able to feel my Master’s Presence.

Whether I was sitting in a temple or more actively doing service, I felt the Presence of my Heart Master. It’s a very tangible feeling - not something I was seeing or imagining as separate from me. It is a presence I feel that has nothing to do with me and I feel completely happy and ecstatic. It is a feeling response to my attraction to Him based on recognition of Him. 

When I try to think about it, it makes no sense to my mind, but that is what I have learned through this relationship to Adi Da Samraj - it has nothing to do with my mind. In other words, as soon as I try to rationalize it to somehow get my mind around it, it becomes a thing I am doing rather than simply feeling this relationship. Once I feelingly turn my attention back to Him, His Presence is again very obvious.   

There were also presentations done about Adi Da’s Art as well as a wonderful tribute to Adi Da done using His Art, photos of Him, music, and readings. I was transformed by the beauty of both His Art, Words, and the accompanying music. There was no sense of the usual “me” standing apart liking this music or how beautiful that piece is - it was more just a sense of connectedness and ecstasy.

At the end of the celebration of Adi Da’s Divine Mahasamadhi, there was also a lovo made by the Fijian ladies in Naitauba. A lovo is a fijian feast done in the traditional way and I thought it was very delicious. A few of us on retreat helped with the set up for this wonderful feast and served the food - I remember feeling so happy while doing this. There was a large crowd including the children in the village, and it was just so sweet to see them smiling and playing outside. Truly a very joyous occasion! 

During my last week in Naitauba I continued to participate in various devotional occasions throughout the day, as well as simple service functions. I learned at a deeper level how the key to staying in relationship to my Heart Master is to maximize my time in sacred occasions. Even doing simple things such as folding my clothes, yoga, eating, or bathing require a feelingly simple turning of all my faculties to Him. Instead of wandering in the maze of thoughts or states of emotion which I tend to do, I just enjoyed His Presence as much as I could.

What I felt after the celebration was how much it was about my Heart Master’s life and all the means that He has given us in order to connect with Him. It wasn’t about grieving for His physical disappearance from this world - it was about His appearance in it and what He came to do. Everything He ever did when He was in His body was happy and loving. His own incarnation in this world has been a means for me to be able to really recognize Him and therefore let my self go, through the daily spiritual practice or “sadhana” of turning to Him in devotion and love.

Leaving Adi Da Samrashram was sad, but I am forever grateful for all the lessons and all the moments I spent in such a sacred and beautiful place. Back on the boat, the Turaga Dau Loloma, to return to Taveuni, I gazed upon Naitauba feeling completely happy and in love - in an ecstatic state that I have learned I don’t have to seek or gain based on any actions or circumstances. It is here any time I turn to Him - anytime, anywhere.